A bill in the South Carolina legislature has been floated that would outlaw the sale of sex toys. Let the dildo jihad begin:

The South Carolina bill, proposed by Republican Rep. Ralph Davenport, would make it a felony to sell devices used primarily for sexual stimulation and allow law enforcement to seize sex toys from raided businesses.

Before I get to how ridiculous this is, Wonkette notes some of the choice entendres that, er, slipped in the original the AP article:

“I know of multiple marriages that sex toys have sold because some people need that. The people who are riding us (the adult novelty industry) so hard are probably at home buying it….”

And then…

Though the laws don’t punish people for owning sex toys, banning their sale is a backdoor attempt to discourage their use, Mr. Lopez said.

As for the idiocy and moronically misplaced priorities here, a reader's post on Wonkette underlines how SC lawmakers are totally neglecting the real problems of the electorate:

Meanwhile some of the SC schools in poorer districts are literally rotting underneath the kids who attend them. I love SC legislators they really have their priorities straight.

Who are these people? This is why in a hundred years we’ll all be speaking Chinese. How in a country where there are so many daunting policy challenges can these elected officials afford to waste time on this. Forget for a second how radically ignorant and adolescent this initiative is (imagine those good-old-boy-bumpkins snickering about sex toys and writhing in shame and sexual repression). Forget for a second how plainly this is wrong on merely constitutional grounds. Forget that there is the faint but nasty stink of male insecurity regarding women’s sexuality (Who is this going to affect? Unsatisfied housewives and women who don’t want to submit themselves to sweaty South Carolinian bubbas?)

As war rages in the Middle East, Iran rattles its nuclear sabers, Islamofascist plot to kill innocent civilians, baby boomers retire and other entitlement programs threaten to bankrupt the nation, immigrants stream across the border, millions live without healthcare, AIDS kills, Avian Flu looms, Mad Cow disease makes people think twice about steak, steroids corrupts pro sports, authors plagiarize rampantly, who’s going to win the next American Idol, I can’t get a job when I graduate, and somewhere a dog needs to be taken for a walk.

There is SO MUCH MORE that is important in this world. Where Nero fiddled as Rome burned, historians will look back and see us agonizing about dildos. I await our Chinese overlords!!