Warboss Zagdakka Takes on the World

His Lighter Side
Warhammer isn’t just another New York oddity. In fact the game, which has both a fantasy edition and a more futuristic “40,000” (40K) edition, was created in the U.K., in the early 1980s. The Games Workshop company, which claims to be the world’s top manufacturer and seller of toy soldiers, model kits and tabletop strategy games, opened its first U.S. store 1984. Now the shops can be found throughout the country, especially in Maryland, the U.S. corporate headquarters and one venue of the annual Games Day event, which draws hundreds of Warhammer competitors from across the nation. GW has also spread to other European countries, and to Canada, Japan and Australia.

Although the Warhammer phenomenon was briefly eclipsed by the Japanese Pokemon craze in the early 2000s, sales soon rebounded, with the creation of the Black Library, a collection of books detailing the quests of well-known Warhammer heroes and villains, and recently, the new Warhammer Online. This is a MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game) that allows players to face off on a virtual battleground. The online version of the game, which costs $50 to buy and then $15 per month to play, attracted 500,000 players within a week of its launch in September 2008. GW profits recently increased 19 percent in the United States, partly the result of price hikes on metal figures, according to the company’s 2008 half-year report.

Joe earns money making and selling armies to other gamers. For $600 to $1,000, he builds and paints armies for those too lazy to do it themselves. Though he benefits from this modest business, Joe is critical of his clients, claiming to be frustrated by their lack of ambition.

When you meet him, Joe seems intimidating. Even after a few weeks, he’s still a little scary. But in time, his amusing stories start to grow on people, like the one about the time John and Joe tried walking to Taco Bell, both of them inebriated, and the only way Joe could progress in a straight line was to start running really fast while singing Marine Corps songs. And when Joanna relates some of the more romantic dates they’ve had, Joe’s softer side finally comes out.

Joanna’s favorite date with Joe was a simple one. Joanna had been cast as an extra in a movie, and Joe accompanied her to Prospect Park for the filming, because they’re both “all about adventure.” Afterward, they lay together on the lawn, holding one another, basking in the heat of the summer sun. It felt like they had no worries in the world, and eventually they drifted to sleep.

“It was one of the best dates I’ve ever had,” Joanna said, even though it wasn’t a fancy, official date at all.

One day Joe displays this lighter side while standing in the cluttered (and more than a little dirty) kitchen of the apartment. Joe, Joanna and John are preparing to leave on a week’s vacation to visit John’s family in Maryland. Joe blasts industrial techno music from the gigantic headphones around his neck, and dances awkwardly. He hasn’t smiled in nearly week, ever since a possible job opening fell through, but he’s grinning ecstatically now, as if to say “fuck yeah! I’m finally going on an epic adventure!” When John emerges from his room, packed and ready to catch the 4 o’clock bus, they make plans to grab slices of $1 pizza, even though they’re already running late.

“Goodbye Warriors of Chaos! Goodbye Orks! Don’t beat each other up,” Joe calls out, finally feeling the burdens of his frustrating job search, and more frequent fights with Joanna, lift from his shoulders, at least temporarily.

“Goodbye Lizardmen!” John says, waving at the army spread out on the countertop.

“Goodbye Chaos Dragon! Don’t shit on Clint’s head,” Joe warns a metallic, silver dragon with three heads, which sits atop a massive model named Clint, known as a “garganth” because it stands about two feet tall, much larger than all of the other models.

“Goodbye Clyde,” John says, addressing another model, which is a little bit smaller than Clint and carries around a wrecking ball.

“Say goodbye to the teddy bears,” Joanna suggests.

“Goodbye teddy bears,” John and Joe call out in unison.

“Goodbye kitchen,” Joe adds, strangely sentimental about leaving, even for a week. He continues the mantra – “goodbye hallway … goodbye elevator … goodbye pizza place … goodbye $1 pizza … goodbye city … goodbye stupid people… goodbye Metro card … goodbye Chris, you should come with us…” – all the way to the subway.