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Death haunts the suburbs, too
 
               By 
Mary Quigley
  
The 5 p.m. Saturday evening mass in my suburban Long Island church 
              usually brims with energy as people hurry in from soccer games, 
              a day of errands and chores around the house or an afternoon jog. 
              But last Saturday there were no soccer games, the stores were strangely 
              empty and people took long walks instead of jogs. 
            The 1,000 congregation members who filled St. Agnes Cathedral in Rockville 
              Centre were sober, seeking solace in a familiar ritual. For his 
              sermon the pastor left the pulpit and stood directly in front of 
              the parishioners. He talked briefly about the horror and sadness 
              of the terrorist attack, all the while fingering a white piece of 
              paper. Then he stopped, unfolded the paper, and slowly read the 
              names of 30 men and women missing from our town. Each name was like 
              a blow to the chest. Heads bowed, tears flowed, adults held hands 
              and children clung to their parents. Everyone, it seemed, knew at 
              least a few names on the list. Many of the names were familiar from 
              my childrens schools and sports activities; two names were particularly 
              painful to hear. 
            Eddie was a New York City firefighter who had just won a promotion 
              to captain. He had gone to work at his New York City firehouse on 
              Monday night for a 24-hour shift, leaving his wife and three young 
              sons in their safe, snug home. He lived few blocks away, next to 
              my elderly in-laws, and was a good neighbor, shoveling snow and 
              helping when my mother-in-law had medical emergencies. My father-in-law, 
              a retired New York City police officer, loved to talk to Eddie and 
              would recount how city firefighters are a special breed, different 
              from others around the country. They never held back, never waited 
              for a fire to subside before they ran into a burning building. My 
              father-in-law imagines that Eddie and his comrades where charging 
              up the stairs of the World Trade tower when it collapsed. Thats 
              what they did, unquestioningly; thats why they lived together 
              in fire "houses," so they would back up each other no 
              matter how dangerous the situation. 
            Eddie wifes was outside in her driveway when I first saw 
              her Wednesday morning, sitting in a white plastic chair with a phone 
              in her hand, waiting for some word, any word. A cadre of friends 
              and relatives formed a protective semi-circle around her. She grabbed 
              my arm. "I know he will come home," she said, explaining 
              that she was sitting outside because she couldnt go inside her 
              house and face her children. "I havent told the boys 
              yet that Eddie is missing. They think hes just working." 
            I stopped by this morning. While relatives maintained a vigil outside 
              on the driveway, Eddys wife was now inside, too distraught to face 
              the neighbors. An American flag with a yellow ribbon hung on the 
              front porch, a sign of hope for a miracle, that he might be found, 
              alive somehow, in the rubble. 
            
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            John Sr. is not hoping for a miracle for his son. John Jr., is 
              dead, he believes, perishing when the towers crumbled. John Sr. 
              is a longtime friend, the father of four grown children: three daughters 
              and a son, all in their 30s. His children, like many in our suburban 
              town, had moved away for college and careers and the early years 
              of married life. And, the like so many others, they moved back to 
              Rockville Centre when they started families. They wanted the Little 
              League, the good public schools, the ocean 20 minutes away and the 
              city an easy 35-minute commute on the Long Island Rail Road. John 
              Jr. had moved back about a year ago and was the father of an infant 
              son, also named John. 
            John Jr. was working for an investment company on the 102nd floor 
              of 2 WTC when the first terrorist plane struck. He called both his 
              mother and father to tell them he was okay, that there had been 
              some freak airplane accident in the first tower. A few minutes later, 
              he was talking to a friend on the phone, when an alarm rang and 
              he told the friend hed better go, according to his father. 
            John Sr. was at his office at 42nd and Lexington when he turned 
              on the radio after his son called. When he heard that a second plane 
              hit he ran out of his office and down Lexington Avenue, trying futilely 
              to get closer to his son. By the time he got to 34th Street he saw 
              the tower collapse. John Sr. collapsed too. "I knew he was 
              dead. Vaporized," he said, choking on his words. 
            Two young men, now missing. Just a week ago, on a warm Sunday, 
              they both had been on local soccer fields watching games with their 
              children. Now they are gone, changing forever the lives of their 
              wives, their parents, their sisters and brothers, their children 
              and their childrens children. More than 5,000 other lives 
              are also forever altered, a statistic that is inconceivable except 
              one Eddie, one John at a time. 
           
  
              
				Mary Quigley teaches 
                the graduate Writing/Reporting Workshops in NYUs Department of 
                Journalism, where she is the director of administration. A former 
                special correspondent for Newsday, she is the co-author 
                of And What Do YOU Do: When Women Chose to Stay at Home 
                (Wildcat Canyon Press), an examination of the choices and changes 
                women make when they become wives and mothers.
                 
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