We Want Media

After watching the “leaked” clip that from earlier this week I decided that I had to break out the single greatest tool a blogger can use.

Indeed, this would require the Live-blog!

But maybe a little background on the show is needed, like this piece last Monday from Variety where executive producer Joel Surnow (of “24” torture porn fame) considers it “news with a sense of humor.” You know, because clearly this isn’t an attempt to cash in on the whole Daily Show phenomena. I mean, it’s not like one show is being pushed on a 24-hour news channel after being dropped by the actual cable programming and the other is on a channel that airs replays of Scrubs 24 hours a day.

Huh.

9:53: Stop playing video game, try to remember what channel Fox News is on. Everything’s working for the most part.

9:57: Joe Klein is Sean Hannity’s enemy of the week. Emily Douglas gives stuff to the homeless and is a great American. I’m live-blogging a TV show instead of going to my friend’s birthday party. I’m a horrible friend.

9:59: Woo! Time for “something new for our viewers” according to Hannity. Because this is conservative humor it’ll be “balanced.”

10:00: January 21, 2009. What the hell? Oh, right, Rush Limbaugh is president and a Howard Dean reference for needing “medical treatment.” Huh, this is like the pot calling the kettle a drug addict.

10:01: Hah, a Clinton reference and the first female vice-president—even if it is Ann Coulter. Well, at the very least they look like they’re enjoying this.

10:02: It begins.

10:03: This is like Weekend Update but with a laugh track.

10:04: Joke book titles. Ed Begley Jr. One minor slip-up by Kent.

10:06: So, wait, there're fake commercials too? And they knock the ACLU. Nice work, guys. Real nice. Now we have a real commercial to pay for "closed captioning."

10:10: We're back. Wait, a Susanne Somers joke? Dude, that's months old. And we follow up that amazing knockout punch with a Time "Person of the Year" joke. When was this pilot filmed, anyway?

10:11: News of Obama's cocaine use sends his popularity down to 99.9 percent. And then they bring in Marion Barry because he got caught with crack. This is like running stereotype upon stereotype and--wait, sorry, I lost my train of thought after "BO: Barack Obama Magazine" was introduced. He smells, get it? Because those are his initials!

10:12: I am 99.9 percent certain they're using a laugh track. That audience laugh is just creepy.

10:14: I take it back. The Ed Begley bit is great. But wait, "campus hipsters" still wear Ché Guevara shirts? I thought people stopped wearing that after sophomore year of High School. However, I think I'd buy the "Shiite Happens" shirt.

10:16: Please, let this segment end so I can get on with my life. And the worst joke ever? Kim Jong-il with "No Fat Chicks" under him as Kent explains the joke for us.

10:17: Fake commercial time. Referencing "Deal or No Deal," so this pilot can't be that old can it? Looking for a new celebrity cause, etc, etc.

10:18: Real commercial featuring a transforming Fox graphic. Tom Shales lied, this is terrible.

10:20: You know, isn't it odd that the anchors "Jennifer Lange" and "Kent McNally" don't use their real names, respectively Jenn Robertson and Kurt Long. I mean, this was billed as conservative humor and even a Daily Show killer. Ah, nuts.

10:21: We're back. Ed Begley Jr. hitchhiked and is in police custody. They'll rebook Ed soon. Especially since only two episodes have been filmed, the second episode being shown March 3rd.

10:22: Six degrees of Global Warming. The funniest part of this segment is me imagining drowning polar bears and an increase in the seal population.

10:24: Why won't Britney Spears wear panties and its link to global warming. This kind of makes sense. I mean, if I had liquor and was drinking--oh, God.

10:25: More ACLU fake commercials. Because who wants civil liberties when it causes pregnant women to use cocaine.

10:26: Real commercial. All right, this is supposed to be like Daily Show? How? This was filmed months ago and is being replayed next Sunday at the same time. While Jon Stewart's crew does do running jokes, at least their "coverage" is timely. And, you know, they're on Comedy Central.

10:28: We're back. Ed Begley Jr. has caused a riot and two rival gangs have claimed Ed as theirs.

Kent: "They're each having a pick-up basketball game and want Ed to play forward?"

Jennifer: "No. Not exactly."

Kent: "Oh."

10:29: It is over.

Well, this certainly was an interesting look at what happens when a News Channel attacked so often by a comedy program decides to strike back. It's unfunny and kind of awkward.

Oh, and it seems this was filmed in October back when it was known as This Just In according to this blog entry from an actress who'll be on what we can assume is the second episode. Wikipedia confirms the actress here but that's about as accurate as me discussing astro-physics.

So, what's the point of this blog entry? I guess it's kind of easy: just because you made torture porn popular on TV doesn't mean you can make a funny news satire on a news network.

edit: And here is the show's page on IMDB and oh wow would you look at that, it's still called This Just In. Maybe someone should update this.

edit, 1:39 am: Changed the Wikipedia link. Minor typo in the old link.